How to Get Out of Your Own Way: Stop That Self-Sabatoge

There’s a lot of truth to the quote, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” We get in our own way far more than life, other people, or bad luck sabotage our success. We really are our own worst enemy. In my life I have been a serial self- sabotager (is that even a word?) This is something I had to recognize and implement significant steps to begin to overcome (I’m still working on this) Because friends, you will be amazed by how much easier your life will be if you aren’t constantly sabotaging your success.

When you think about it, it’s mind-blowing that we allow ourselves to stand in our own way, but we do. Understanding that fact is half the battle to overcoming it.

Here are 7 techniques to help you stop sabotaging yourself:

1. Pray And Let go of the past. Mistakes from the past don’t mean that you’re doomed to failure in the future (Read that again!) So now your past at the most should be used as educational material, as a growth and learning opportunity, NOT as a predictor of your future. Leave your past in the past and look to the one who can help you create the future you desire.
   

2. Avoid Negative Self-Talk: Don’t talk to yourself unless you’re going to say something nice. If You spend too much time saying negative things to yourself, eventually, you begin to believe them. That kind of constant negative input gives you an incorrect view of yourself and your capabilities and keeps you stagnant, never making any moves to better your life. Ensure that your self-talk is supportive, uplifting and positive. Positive affirmations are a great way to remedy those negative thoughts that like to come around. There is so much power in your words!
   

3. Notice your habits that sabotage your success. Think about what you want to be successful at and notice your habits that stand in your way. For example, if you want to lose weight, but you eat a bag of chips every time you're stressed girl, that habit is sabotaging your success.
   

   • Make a list of all the habits that sabotage your success. Write down all the ways in which those habits inhibit your success. What is the cost of each of those habits? Being aware of the damage these habits cause can make it easier to change them.
     

4. Define your fear. This is what changed the game for me. All self-sabotage is rooted in fear. So, what exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Are you afraid of finding out that you're not capable? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how people will view you?
   

   • Understand the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself. Unless you can either get over that fear or remove it, you'll continue to get in your own way.

5. Remember that success isn’t perfect. Sometimes we quit because things aren’t turning out the way we imagined. Setting more reasonable expectations can help ensure that you’re seeing things through to the end. Nothing in life is ever perfect.

6. Identify and change your beliefs. What are the beliefs that stand in your way? For example, do you believe that you can never be a successful writer because you failed high school English? Do you believe you can’t start or own a business or be an entrepreneur because you didn’t go to business school?
   

   • Look at all of your beliefs related to the part of your life you want to be more successful in. Which of those beliefs are getting in your way?
     

7. Notice the people that get in your way. Sometimes, we allow people into our lives that don't really want the best for us. You'll find that few people are truly interested in seeing you live up to your full potential.
   

   • Avoid believing that it’s acceptable to allow someone to get in your way. If they choose to be an obstacle, consider removing them from your life.

The good news is that easier to control yourself than it is to control others or circumstances outside of yourself. Since you are the source of your challenges, you also have the power to eliminate them. Never underestimate how much you’re standing in your own way!

I hope these techniques help you begin to Get Out Of Your Own Way!  You deserve to be successful in life don’t ever believe less.

Gratitude

Man! I can’t even begin to tell you the journey that I have been on this year! It’s definitely been year of growth, self awareness, self improvement and personal development.  My mission this year has been to give myself grace and to overall grow as a person.

One of the books I have read this year is, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. She wrote The Secret, another incredible book which I’m sure everyone has read  or heard about. The Magic is definitely not a book I would have ever picked up a few years ago (because of many reasons that I don’t need to go into right now)

But, I’m so thankful I did!

The Magic is about Gratitude, and it’s been seriously life changing.

I mean, I have always known the importance of gratitude in daily life, and practiced it, (inconsistently lol) from time to time. But not to this degree. 

It’s a 28 day journey, and every day has a different topic and challenge to do. It’s literally changing yourself from the inside out!

The power of true, deeply felt, gratitude is incredible. It’s being and feeling gratitude in the good times and in the hard times. True gratitude brings joy, and a new perspective to whatever situation you are in.

It’s one of the most powerful ways to live abundantly, every - single - day.

I can now see how I didn’t really understand gratitude like, REAL gratitude. Because this type of gratitude is bigger than the odd “I’m thankful for…” this type of gratitude doesn’t come naturally. This type of gratitude you have to work on and push through and practice daily.

Successful and happy people practice daily gratitude. I truly believe it is  the key to everything. If you make it a habit from the moment you wake up till the moment you lie down at the end of your day, you will absolutely be transformed as a person. 

If you haven’t already read the book, Click HERE

I’m sure you will love it!

Talk Soon,

Grace Enough...

Well it’s Day 3 of the New Year. This year is still so fresh and new and filled with beautiful wonder and anticipation. 

I’m so excited for what’s in store. For what God has in-store. What goals have you set into motion? Here is your friendly reminder that if you haven’t started (whatever you wanted to start) regardless of what day or time it is, it’s never too late to start.

I decided to choose a word for the year, but I had a little bit of a hard time deciding on one.  I thought a needed a fierce inspirational word, one that would motivate me the very instant I though of it it, or said it out loud. But everything I thought of didn’t feel right or fit that description. So as I took the time to pray about it, to think about where I am in my life, where I want to be, the dreams and goals I’ve set into motion, I started to realize that I needed to go a different direction with my word. 

The truth is that I’m somewhat of a perfectionist. It’s something I’ve been working on for sometime and am constantly working on. I blame it on the fact that I’m a creative. When I create, it takes a lot for me to share it or present it to the world until it feels, perfect. Perfectionism creeps in when I write music, design, in my business ventures, in my overall life. I battle it constantly. I’m so hard on myself and if you are perfectionist you know that it can cause you to not do what you want or need to do, for fear that it won’t be perfect. Right?! I know you know the drill, you want to do all the things well and so at times, it keeps you from stepping out and doing anything at all. 

Perfectionism essentially requires reliance on and faith in oneself and talents and not in the one who created us and gave us those gifts and talents. 

It’s a burden that constantly brings you down and shines a light on your shortcomings.

As I focused on all that I wanted to accomplish this year, I quickly realized what I would need most in my life in 2019, is a whole lot of GRACE! 

So my word of the year is, Grace beautiful Grace. Obviously this grace is extended to all those around me, but ultimately it’s for myself. This word is for me. 

My prayer for 2019 is that I would live in grace over perfection.

Grace enough to not hold back and take courage daily, even when it’s not all perfect.

Grace enough to continue to consistently walk into what God has called me to, even when the steps aren’t all perfectly laid out. 

Grace enough to see myself through a lens of love and kindness.

Grace enough to not hold myself to such a high standard. 

Grace enough to embrace the lessons not the mistakes. 

Grace enough to live imperfectly. 

I hope and pray that if you are a fellow sufferer of perfectionism like myself, that you would also choose to run after grace this year. That you would  let it begin to encompass your heart and change the way you live your life! And that above all, you would live out this year knowing you are worthy and so dearly loved! 

6 Easy Steps To End The Year Strong

6 steps to end the year strong!

If you currently aren’t where you want to be.

I can’t believe there are only 36 more days left in this year. 2018 has been an amazing year of Personal growth and development for me. I'm not sure I intentionally set out the year in pursuit of that, but I somehow found myself in that space.

What I did was just start working on me and various projects and goals. I was making decisions that inevitably pushed me to take steps forward. My ultimate goal was: to not be in the same place at the end of this year. I can confidently say, I accomplished a lot of what I set out to do. Obviously, there is still so much growth left, but do we ever stop growing? Nope! Not unless we choose too.

On October 1st, this year, I joined the Last 90 Day Challenge with Rachel Hollis. If you don’t know who she is or what that is, definitely google her. The purpose of the challenge is to end the year strong. Taking the last 90 days of the year, and working on you. The idea is not waiting until January 1st to kick off your goals. New years resolutions come with a lot of pressure and generally, end up fizzling out. If you walk into January already having started making progress, this just makes moving forward into the new year that much more exciting!

SO here we are, It’s almost the end of November. The sound of the holidays buzzing around us. And the year is coming to a close.

Have you been working on your goals and dreams? OR Are you in the same place you were January 1st, 2018?

If when you think about this year ending you are reminded of all of the things you purposed to do but haven’t yet. I’m here to tell you, the year isn’t over yet! It’s not too late to start. It’s not too late to end the year in a more positive space than you are now!

So, I wanted to share 6 very simple steps to ending this year strong. Steps that will guarantee you are ending this year in forward momentum!

Here we go…

1. Write Down Your Goals. This is a very key step that I have practiced this year. Write your goals and dreams down! If you have already done this, and not made any forward motion, I encourage you to write them down, again.

   A little warning, this step may bring up some intense feelings of regret and disappointment. But here’s the deal, there is nothing you can do about the last 300 and whatever days. Don’t waste time beating yourself up. There is still days left in the year and regardless of what you have been taught, think or feel, the ultimate truth is: IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START OR START AGAIN! Even if you start today and fall tomorrow. Get back up, dust yourself off, and keep on going. Even if you are reading this and the year is over and its officially 2019, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START OR START AGAIN!

   SO what did you want to do in this year but haven’t started yet? Did you want to begin your Healthy living lifestyle? Working out? Maybe you wanted to learn how to play guitar or wanted to start a blog, grow your existing business or start a new business venture or side hustle.

   Whatever it is, write it down on a brand new page! This will make it fresh and new again. It will bring it back to life for you by stirring up the hope and excitement you had when you prayed and purposed to do it initially. The joy you had when you planned all about how to get it done. It will kick off your goal to end this year strong.

2. Write Down The First 3 ACTION Steps These are the first steps towards accomplishing what you want to do. For example: What are the first action steps to starting your new blog? Do you pick a name, open a site, write the first blog post & publish? Make sure that these steps are action steps. What we want to do here is guarantee we are making progress! 

3. Share Them With Someone Close To You Share it with someone who can hold you accountable, someone who is rooting for you and wants to see you win. Maybe that’s a friend, your husband, or maybe you are part of a great online community of mom’s or women in business. Tell them how you are taking action for the remaining days in the year, what your actions steps are and that you will share with them how it’s going. Ask them to check in on you and hold you accountable. This forces you to stick to your word. And is also another action step. We are taking all the action steps we can take to make sure that when January hits, we are in forward motion.

4. Take action Good news! you have already started making progress by writing your goals down and sharing them. Yay! we are already in forward motion. Now, you are just continuing on by taking action on the first 3 steps you laid out. There is no way around this or easy way to do this, you just have to… START! Confidence comes and builds with each step forward you take. If there is fear, you have to push through it, insecurities, fight through them, doubts, overcome them by, TAKING ACTION!

   If you try something and you fail: First off all, give yourself grace. As horrible as it may feel, it’s all part of the journey and everyone who tries something in life, goes through it. Don’t quit, say to yourself “I’m starting again right now!” Don’t allow anytime to wallow. GET BACK UP and keep on keeping on! Because you deserve this and you can DO THIS! Check out the Mel Robbins 5 second rule it’s changed my life.

5. Stay In Your Own Lane: Friends, don’t look to the left or right and compare yourself to others. I know this is a hard one for all of us. So begin by telling yourself that You, the authentic you, is ENOUGH and is SO VERY MUCH LOVED. Take the time to celebrate the steps you have taken and progress you are making regardless of how little, it may seem. Every step forward IS a step forward.

6. Take The Time To Practice Gratitude Daily. Being grateful changes your perspective immensely. It has a way of shifting the way you perceive yourself. It picks you up and psychs you up to keep on going. It makes life so much more beautiful and gives you hope and drive to continue believing and taking action. Begin to develop this practice everyday. Daily Gratitude makes what you are doing so much bigger than, just you!

   And there you have it! ;)

   These 6 steps, if you start them today will guarantee that you end the year stronger. They will guarantee that you end the year in forward motion, and set you up to continue building momentum in 2019. Can you believe that? It’s going to be 2019!!

I hope you enjoyed reading this! If you did, feel free to share it with someone whom you feel may benefit from it!

Until next time, friends!

You are loved